Thursday, June 07, 2007

You only get one life. What ya gonna do with it?

A few years ago I sat through a church sermon where the preacher spoke about living without fear. He said "Do you ever wonder why it's the craziest people that accomplish so much? It's because they live without a sense of fear. If there is something that you want to do, don't be afraid. No excuse is really good enough when it's something that is going to improve your life".
So I began the year of 2007 with a new mantra "Live without fear".

I also have this little saying , "You only have one life. What ya gonna do with it?". One of my biggest fears is not living the life I'm supposed to. When I lived in Minnesota, I had what seemed like a good life. Good job, good money. But I was very unhappy. Very! Life was routine and mundane. It got to the point that I didn't know what day of the week it was because they were all the same. And although this may sound slightly nuts, I felt as if I was just keeping time until I died. No next big thing to mark my life. No excitement. Just work, eat, sleep, repeat. So I decided that I would pursue my fashion career and apply to school. I started working on my portfolio and then I got the chance to relocate to Raleigh for work. A quick fix that I jumped at.

Now I've been in Raleigh for 3 years. Life is definitely better than before, yet I still felt as if I'm not living the life I am supposed to. I threw myself into knitwear design as a way of improving my overall design repetoire and keeping busy, and now I love it. With each day my passion for fashion (ha! that rhymes) grows and my love for the corporate technology world dwindles. The first things you think of when you awake in the morning should be your motivators through life, and my job definitely isn't something that motivates me. I'm busting my butt to make money for someone else. And at my funeral what will they say?..."She used to work for some company doing something, but she did it for 30 years so she must have been good at it. Blah. Blah. Blah" I want to be remembered for more than that and at some point I want to work for myself.

I've always had this dream of what my life should be and earlier this year I took the steps towards living that dream.

Sometimes you just have to step out on faith. I figured if I could get accepted to the Fashion Design program at FIT than I need to take the leap. I'm terrified and excited all at the same time. Yesterday I gave my 2 weeks notice at work and at the end of this month I'll be moving to NYC. (That's why I was in NYC last week. I was looking for an apt. Talk about stressful!)

Things will be a little quiet at Chez Saun while I make the transition. I'll try to check in when I can but I hope to be up to full speed by the first week in July. This is definitely going to be an adventure.